Maela’s Story
This blog contains references to pregnancy loss and birth trauma.
Reading Well for families recommends helpful reading to support parents and carers to look after their wellbeing in pregnancy and the early years.
Co-production was at the heart of creating Reading Well for families. We teamed up with the Maternal Mental Health Alliance to involve a group of parents, carers, and people with lived experience of pregnancy, parenthood and mental health challenges to shape the booklist that truly reflects the needs of families.
Their voices, insights and experiences guided every step of the process — from the themes we covered and the books we included to the design of the promotional materials.
After experiencing multiple pregnancy losses and a traumatic birth, midwife Maela’s mental health deteriorated and finding the right support proved incredibly difficult. Determined not to give up, she was eventually accepted by the trauma and loss specialist team at her local hospital, where she received a formal debrief and nine months of EMDR therapy. Alongside this, support from Mothers for Mothers helped her begin to process her experience.
Now, she shares her story to help others feel less alone.
Co-Production Process & Impact
How important is it for schemes like this to be developed with direct input from people with lived experience?
I think the feeling of knowing that you’re not alone is essential, because one of the key feelings you get when going through postnatal mental health is loneliness. I think becoming a mother is a lonely place anyway, even if everything went well and you’re well supported. That little person doesn’t speak for months or years so connecting to a village is essential.
The Importance of Reading & Resources
How do you think reading can support parents and carers during pregnancy and the early years?
I’m a reader who wants to learn things […] to educate myself. I read newspaper articles and lots on my phone. I’m not a reader with a book all the time, but I am a reader.
Reading is a form of mindfulness in a way, because if you are into what you’re reading, you are going to pause for even ten minutes to just get yourself into the story or get yourself into the topic. So, it’s giving yourself some me time. It’s good escapism as well. Maybe your day-to-day life at the moment is not the best that it could be, but for half an hour you are another character, or you are somewhere else in the world.
What value do you think the Reading Well for families list has for parents and carers?
The whole point about [Reading Well for families] is to get rid of the stigma around mental health. And I think it’s difficult because as a health professional, you’re told not to scare people. For instance, when you do a tour of the hospital, you don’t show them the theatre where you could end up with an emergency caesarean. You don’t show them NICU [Neonatal Intensive Care Unit], which is full of premature babies. You don’t have to horrify people, but I think having the information available, for them to go deeper into if they want to, is essential to be able to make informed choices.
A lot of people go into their first pregnancy thinking it’s going to be a world of unicorns and glitter, […] and they’re going to breathe the baby out […] and bond with their baby straight away. Often the reality is very different from that.
It’s helpful to be able to read on a variety of topics, I think, and not just the one that relates to your experience. This reading list is all about giving people the choice of what they want to educate themselves on.
This scheme is being developed with kindness and empathy, and it’s been done considering people that have been through it. Often when things come from a health professional, it can feel like a tick in the box.
Looking Ahead
What would you say to a parent or carer who’s struggling but maybe hasn’t thought about turning to books for support?
I would say to them that you’re not alone, and reading is a beautiful way to feel that.
Reading doesn’t just have to be for your mental health. You might take to it, and then once you’re on the other side and you feel a bit better, you might just want to read or even be part of reading clubs.
It’s also important for parents to read to their children, because as a midwife, I know that reading to a young child is paramount to their brain development and how well they might do at school.
I saw the importance of that when I had my premature baby. The first pack the [health professionals] give you has got a book in it, and they say to you to read to the baby from outside the incubator. They know it helps brain development and that having a baby could trigger mental health problems.
That feeling of connection and that feeling of being in the moment, I think it’s just beautiful.
Explore the Reading Well for families booklist here.
Reading Well for families co-production was supported by the Maternal Mental Health Alliance.
