What Have I Done?: Motherhood, Mental Illness & Me

Laura Dockrill

Like any new mum, Laura Dockrill felt rather overwhelmed after the birth of her son. But a slow recovery, sleep deprivation and anxiety quickly escalated into postpartum psychosis, and she had to spend a fortnight in a psych ward, separated from her family. It was only when Laura began to put her ordeal into words that she began to find herself again, and recovery seemed within reach.

This is Laura’s raw, honest and life-affirming story of how she made it through one of the most frightening experiences a mother can face. Now, she wants to break down the silence around postnatal mental health, shatter the idealised expectations of perfect motherhood, and show all new struggling parents that they are not alone.

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Fel unrhyw fam newydd, roedd Laura Dockrill yn teimlo wedi ei llethu ar ôl genedigaeth ei mab. Ond yn fuan datblygodd adferiad araf, colli cwsg a gorbryder yn seicosis ôl-enedigol, a bu’n rhaid iddi dreulio pythefnos mewn ward seiciatrig, wedi ei gwahanu oddi wrth ei theulu. Dim ond pan ddechreuodd Laura roi ei dioddefaint mewn geiriau y dechreuodd ddod o hyd iddi ei hun eto, ac roedd adferiad yn ymddangos o fewn cyrraedd.

Dyma stori onest a chadarnhaol Laura am sut y gwnaeth hi oroesi un o’r profiadau mwyaf brawychus y gall mam ei hwynebu. Yn awr, mae hi eisiau chwalu’r tawelwch o amgylch iechyd meddwl ôl-enedigol, chwalu’r disgwyliadau delfrydol o fod yn fam berffaith, a dangos i bob rhiant newydd sy’n ei chael hi’n anodd nad ydyn nhw ar eu pennau eu hunain.